Love--Kyrgyz Style

Chynara, one of my teachers, got a call in the middle of the night last week from her niece. She had been kidnapped by a man she knew. The girl, 18 yrs old, didn’t know exactly where she was but she knew it was near a café where she’d abducted. Chynara grabbed a cab and drove around until she found the café and then after asking many a person in the neighborhood, located the house where her niece was. But it was too late. The man who abducted her had already raped her and inside the house, his mother was trying to get her to concede to marrying her son. Who else would have her for she was no longer a virgin, she was spoiled goods. There was nothing left for her to do but give in and marry this man she didn’t know much at all.
Aunt Chynara, the fiercely independent woman that she is, would have none of this and after some yelling a giving the man a good whopping, got her niece out of there and back home. The girl’s mother was outraged that Chynara had brought her home, defying an age old tradition of bride kidnapping. The girl’s own mother would have nothing to do with her, looking down her nose at her as if she was a common whore. The girl was traumatized, threatening suicide because she was no longer a virgin. Chynara calmed her down by promising to take her to Almaty to get her hymen resewn so she’d be good as knew (a common $20 surgical procedure). After a nice, hot shower the girl calmed down and went to bed. Chynara spoke to the family and told them if they still wanted a wedding and she was in agreement, then there would be one. Otherwise they could forget it.
Bride kidnapping is an age old tradition--institutionalized barbarity. How a society allows a man to steal a girl off the street, usually egged on by his mother, and then rape her as if to mark his territory is beyond me. I wish more women would stand up for the young women of this country and prevent this barbaric act from happening less and less. Chynara herself was kidnapped and raped, then forced to marry. She fought her husband and broke away from him, moving to the big city to raise her children and blossom as a teacher. She is still tied tightly to her family and her oppressive culture but little by little she has shown her defiance and independence amid this repression. I wish more women here were like Chynara.